“What’s a man if it isn’t chivalrous?” — a sentence as commonplace as the air our colonial predecessors breathed. Unfortunately, the sentence above is just as polluted today as the air it was in colonial times. It has suffered from rust and decay. Chivalry was a characteristic that was essential in the transformation of a boy into a man. This was the foundation of feminist sentiments all over the world. Deep down, patriarchal society spreads its inferno wings and relinquishes not only the unjustified and redundant practices, but also the primary essence manhood. It replaces it with something lacking basic courtesy and respect for our better half. The recent events have made women more visible in all aspects of society. This is well-received by all. I, for one, am grateful. However, some misguided beliefs and concepts have led to the destruction of these feelings. It is common to believe that chivalrous men can be manipulated and public schools have produced a lot of fancy lads. These falsely motivated beliefs have blurred distinctions between civilized and non-civilized societies. It is not only about imitating the fakes, but also trying to emulate the originals. These gestures are the roots of our standards. Decency sprinkled with chivalry carries a strong aura throughout all times, from the Knights Templars to East India Company. When a man walks behind a woman, or isn’t familiar with her, he will open his door and offer to help. Today, these characteristics that were used to define groomed men are taken as a gesture against women. A lady can run a company and be a member of the board. This does not require any special requirements from her and no special treatment for the men. It is still basic manners to open the door, offer water, and hold a cup of tea for her. Nothing more, certainly nothing less. These special privileges can be seen as more than a feeling of pleasure. We have blurred the boundaries between acceptable and unacceptable in our desire to improve and reconstruct our society. We are aiming for a society that is devoid of respect, gratitude, and consent so it doesn’t feel civilized. It is no longer necessary to distinguish between educated and uneducated men. Chivalry has become a source of hate in recent decades. They argue that Chivalry threatens gender equality. Originating in medieval England, where women were submissive, it was an argument for Chivalry. For basic tasks they had to perform, they needed to wear heavy corsets, stiff skirts, and sturdy footwear. Chivalry was at the time a masculine chauvinistic act to assert dominance and make women dependent on men for simple tasks like opening doors. Alas! It makes me wonder if chauffeurs are still needed in this 21st century era of ‘humankind’. Is it not them we trust with tasks like driving us around and opening doors? According to them, “small tasks” is what they mean. Every decent Indian household has at least one housekeeper to help with these “small tasks”. Two conclusions resulted from trying to see the stark contrast these hypocrites are painting. Either they, or we, as the employees, are inferior and being controlled by them. Or, if you take a more rational approach, then our tasks and duties triumph over the trivial details of daily life. This is exactly my argument. Instead of dwelling on these small issues, we must work together to see bigger picture. My friends argue that women are financially, emotionally and physically self-sufficient and do not need to depend on men for their support. It is a sad fact that chivalry is obsolete in today’s world where both genders are fighting for equal rights. It makes the women feel submissive and dependent and adds an additional burden on the men. It is simply a way to keep women dependent on men and preserve patriarchy.
For centuries, the flagbearers in civilization have been the chivalrous and upright men. True gentleman makes use of his stature to show respect for women and encourages people to do the same. It provides a guideline to every boy for his whole life. Chivalry to me is a way to use my privilege to respect and protect women while also living in the knowledge that they have the right to make their own decisions. Why should the gesture of opening the car door be taken as a sign you are dependent? Instead, it can be taken as a sign you support and stand by your lady no matter what. Chivalry just reinforces this idea. By doing daily acts to acknowledge all that women do, it is what we truly desire. Acceptance isn’t that difficult is it?
Even worse, I was called a coward by someone who said that I wasn’t willing to change. My resistance to change was deemed weak and moral. Change is the only constant. Although I fully agree with the statement that change is inevitable, it is important to recognize flaws in order to work towards improving them. Instead of ripping off everything and throwing it away, we should learn to accept the flaws and work together to fix them. My honest opinion is that cowards would just write it off. I disagree. I believe strongly in this tradition and I work to improve it. I will stand firm behind the principle that women shouldn’t be grateful for their gifts and that it should be embodied in something called “chivalry”. Then, it is very hesalthy to practice it in our day-to-day lives. As with all things, chivalry must adapt to the 21st-century views. Even though steam engines aren’t efficient in modern times, that doesn’t mean trains should be abandoned. To make a better world, we must learn from our mistakes and improve upon them. This is exactly what I stand for. Chivalry is a way to show women how much you appreciate them and the many things they do. If men are able to see the subtler and more meaningful gestures, Chivalry can be revived.